So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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