dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
