He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
