this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
how drunk are you?
Several
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
