he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Quick, to the slutcave!
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So here I am, sexting at work.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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