We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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