so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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