It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
