Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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