im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
