went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
