like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
