You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
