you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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