She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
