It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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