Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
