Soap is not a condiment
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
