what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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