Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Houston, we have a blender
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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