What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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