Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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