mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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