Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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