using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
