you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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