So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
