He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
