Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
