I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
