dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
