Jerry, you need to find god
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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