he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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