our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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