I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
