I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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