His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I need moral support for this bender
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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