i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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