Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
