It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
