I hope mine doesn't look like that
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
