Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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