how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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