I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
