Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
