saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
