You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
