oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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