then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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