my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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