I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
