Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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